Three Ways to Beat Self-Limiting Beliefs NOW
Yesterday, we talked about the beaucoup of forces that act in unison to support the habits of self-limiting beliefs.
Today, we kick that sh*t to the curb.
So, here are three ways to overcome self-limiting beliefs RIGHT DARN NOW:
1. Counter Affirmations
2. Self-Improvement
3. Disengagement
1. Counter Affirmations
Our thoughts are tracks we play in our minds. Words are intangible; their only substance is our credence.
It follows that if we remove the foul track of self-limiting beliefs and slide another tape in, we can let that one play just as easily.
Try it.
For example:
I’m a shitshow → I am creative, exciting, and unpredictable.
I have no idea what’s going on in my life → I am on a path toward discovering the next chapter of my life. I can’t see far ahead, but I trust my footsteps.
I’m not good enough → My talents are unique and desirable and my perseverance will be rewarded.
photopin.com
Go ahead:
Make two columns on a piece of paper. List out all that BS you chant on one side.
For each anti-affirmation, write a counter thought in the opposing column.
I’m not asking you to believe the counter affirmation. I’m asking you to write it and repeat it instead of the limiting belief. That’s all. But yes, the joke’s on you here. Like it or not, when you show discipline with this method, you will magically begin believing the affirmation.
Give it time, don’t give up, and do. this. for. yourself.
2. Self-Improvement
Yes, putting an end to self-limiting beliefs will result in overall self-improvement. But what I’m talking about here are the general tried-and-true methods that are used to reach the end goal of an improved self…
I have a friend(s?) who is pretty sad—depressed, even. He complains a lot and it’s pretty annoying.
Why? Not because it’s negative and sometimes-annoying, but because he doesn’t do anything about it.
You know this guy too.
Look:
Apart from cultural “brainwashing” (see yesterday’s post), we also have deep emotional reasons behind self-limiting beliefs.
Perhaps it was an abusive parent or lover. Maybe an older sibling always outshined you. Maybe you accidentally killed the family dog and are forever traumatized.
Sometimes things happen in life that make us feel unworthy without our even realizing it. It’s up to us to find those things, be aware of them, and uproot them, and that takes work.
We are all worthy of what we desire (as long as it doesn’t bring harm to others).
It’s not easy to heal on our own.
You aren’t expected to just *know* chemistry, why should you be expected to just *know* psychology??
Seek multiple means of self-improvement to help you learn about your own psychology: Journal daily, find a therapist you love, read books (an Amazon search will work wonders, but you can also check out my Brainfoods list).
You being Unlimited You will take work.
Nobody’s spirit grows in a vacuum. If you want expansion, get outside yourself.
3. Disengagement
Okay you proud bastard, if you’re not ready to take counter affirmation or self-improvement steps, then I’ll offer you this to get out of the limiting beliefs cycle:
Disengage.
Don’t let the self-limiting tape play. The thoughts will literally get you nowhere.
If you don’t want to replace the thoughts with positivity, distract yourself any way you can. Just go stare at a fucking wall and really focus on it.
Whatever you do, don’t let the bad thoughts back in. Disengage and distract—it’s like getting rid of hiccups.
disengage: just. stare.
Thoughts are either something or nothing. They are formless and powerless and only have what you give them.
Starve them out if you have to.
Thank you for reading that post. You are helping me to have to believe in what I say, just as writing this has helped me to track all the BS I’ve been filling my brain with and start getting a handle on it.
My affirmation: I am lucky to have found a path to a fulfilling and rewarding writing career. I am getting all the gear in place and warming up in preparation for the playing season. When it’s time to play, I’ll be ready.
What are your limiting beliefs? Can you relate to this? How do you deal?
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The things you do with self-affirmations I like to do with music. It’s like you can control you mental state with music more than I ever considered when I was younger. I never considered reciting mantras before, but it seems like it could really have positive impact when I’m feeling down. And positivity is absolutely all about perspective. Sometimes I wonder if you are a part-time psychologist or something lol.
I love this, Neil! You’re so right. IN fact, I want to write a post about using music for mental state—I wish I’d have thought of that. Definitely try the mantra thing, though! IT would be awesome to be a part-time psychologist, but I’m too much of a nomad to be able to stay put for schooling or patients. The only credentials I have are being in and out of therapy since elementary school and reading about the subject as an enthusiast! Thanks 🙂
20211123 02:26 Not sure what age elementary school is. Frankly, I am curious what they thought was broken. what ever they ‘thought’ I suspect the correct answer and truth was and is ‘ nothing'(was broken).
The one thing that annoys me about psychologists is that they can never know what is in your head. They are very good at telling you what ‘you are thinking’ but they can never KNOW. They can only tell you what THEY think you are thinking, NOT what you are ACTUALLY thinking. UNLESS,of course. they ask you. They also try and interpret a person’s body language. I laugh at this one! My ‘body language’ does not match any of the standard interpretations. For me it is all about comfort. Apparently, if you are leaning back and putting your interlinked hands behind your head, you are ‘disinterested’. When in fact it could simply mean that the listener, is making sure they are comfortable so they can pay full attention to anything that is being said. This accusation of ‘disinterest’ was levied at me once in a meeting. I then repeated the complete conversation back to them with mimicked voices so that it was easy for each person to recognize the speaker ‘word perfect’ as if it were a tape recording – including the ‘last mentioned accusation’ .
‘So’ I asked.’Do you think I was disinterested or do you think I was actually paying attention?’
You cannot know what a person is thinking. so – ask them. If they lie to you, then the consequences of their verbalized statements are their own responsibility. They are on record. I will not start to discuss ‘lies’ here, except to say there is no reason to ever lie. EVER.
When a psychologist is listening to you they are constantly trying to map you to one of the scenarios they have ‘learnt’ about. If they ask questions, then they are leading you and your thinking, down a path that will prove their interpretation. In truth, the only thing a psychologist can ever really know about a person is’ how they will react given a certain set of factors’. In other words ‘human nature’. If you want to know about people read ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ and ‘War and Peace’. They have all you need to know. If you want a more recent analysis, look at the work of Montessori. But apart from and/or in spite of the human nature component, the only person who knows what YOU are thinking is YOU. That is what makes YOU so powerful. You have the power, only You can wield it. NOW a therapist? Well, all a therapist should be doing is listening to you and offering you the occasional word of encouragement to continue. In effect, they are giving you a chance to hear yourself think. By saying it out loud it gives you the opportunity to give voice to your own thoughts and for you to critically evaluate them. YOU are providing your own solutions. Contrary to popular belief, you can ‘talk and listen’ at the same time.
If a person thinks aloud, this is a sign of sanity. It is when they start to answer themselves that one should start to worry.
How do I know if I am headed in the right direction? Everything changes so fast
That’s so true! I wish there was a quick and easy answer to that. For me, it’s a long process of learning how to listen to myself so that I can be guided by my intuition. I’m still working on it. Like I talk about in this post, I’ve tried out so many things in life that I’m now better able to recognize the feeling of something “clicking.” It’s like haircuts: A lot of times we try all these different styles out, but when we get the right one, we just *know* it’s for us. Or jeans (which I’m sure women will relate to better than men). At any rate, if we’re out of touch with ourselves, we can’t know what’s best for us. Exploration, meditation, journaling, and therapy are the things that best reveal me to me. but every one is going to have the mixed bag that works best for them. What’s yours?