Are You Listening to What You Should Say?
There is the paralysis of not knowing what to say—
What should be said. What should be heard.
And there is the freedom of simply saying—
Of letting conscious thought recede while fingers come forth and take over.
Like a rush of water words can then pour. Words unforced, choosing to be written. Words that have been waiting—floating within your ribcage—for you to exhale.
There is release, and there is reaction.
We often release of words in anticipation of reaction. But reaction, by definition, is a thing that follows.
The focus, if we commit to honesty (and don’t we?), should be on the release.
Let the reaction be what it is; let the people see and think and respond how they wish. Our responsibility is to let out what is in while listening, watching, and hopefully (if barely) understanding better what and who we are.
How can we offer a thing that we have not given ourselves the space to possess?
There are times when I dance around the computer, glancing down and around and doing everything but taking a seat to tip tap the keys because fear and doubt tell me that nothing I have to say will be worthwhile.
I want to impress you, I want to connect with you, I want to make you feel something. I want you to share a feeling with me and I want to create within a space nonexistent a thing that exists, despite and defiant.
The only way for me to do so is to let pass the things that leak out my fingers, without thought and without predilection.
Sometimes I forget, and I’m sorry about that.
But thank you for helping me by talking to me. Thank you for being here.
I should point out, I suppose, that the type of writing I’m (vaguely) addressing is not the factual, journalistic, or even story-telling type. It’s something else, it’s this thing I’m trying to do on a path toward finding…something.
What is it?
At any rate, if you think something now (or even later….or even before), please leave a comment!